marriage is not about happiness but holinessshinedown attention attention
Marriage will bring out of you all that you are running from and all that you are trying to suppress. Your happiness might come and go with the attitude of your spouse, but no one can take your holiness away from you. sanctification. What if we consider the question, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" When we think of holiness only in terms of “spiritual” things like reading our Bibles or praying, we make two mistakes. —These two years of marriage have broken down these ideas on what I thought marriage should look like.
"Instead of asking whether your current marriage is making you happy, start asking how it is making you holy – and then thank God for the gift that this journey represents.If you liked this article and would like to go deeper, we have some helpful resources below.Free advice on marriage, parenting and Christian living delivered straight to your inbox© 2008 Focus on the Family (Canada) Association.
Having bought into the world’s lie that marriage is primarily about being happy, they panic at the reality of their own relationship, which is bending under the stress of sickness, disappointment, sin and physical exhaustion.In time, they come to resent their marriages because they fall so far short of expectations.What surprises me so much is that such couples rarely think to question their expectations; these idealized notions are sacrosanct and confirmed whenever the person holding them watches a romantic comedy, listens to popular music, or picks up the latest best-selling novel from Chapters. And that in itself has helped our marriage blossom, bearing fruit that wasn’t planted overnight.My desire is to share with young women who are striving daily to become more like Christ, encouraging them to pursue God wholeheartedly, in every aspect of their life.Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates. I’ve learned over these years, that God uses marriage to glorify Himself, not my selfish agenda & misconceptions. It was all about my own happiness rather than our holiness that was to be represented in our home. I would put so much pressure on myself to be this “perfect” wife because I had so many people looking up to us. If you just put up with God, you may not get the point. Personal happiness is often the byproduct of holiness – but it is never the goal. Registered Charity Number #10684-5969-RR0001. Marriage is more about holiness than happiness ... we said we should fight for our families because marriage is not just a good thing but a God … May millions more in generations to come embrace this life-giving message!” May millions more in generations to come embrace this life-giving message!”
I would put so much pressure on myself to be this “perfect” wife because I had so many people looking up to us. The reality is, marriage can become an idol, leaving one empty if not careful & that was exactly what I did. Before everyone freaks out, let me explain what I mean.
I struggled to understand that this covenant wasn’t solely about making me happy. Marriage, the researchers found, is not the key to happiness. You will realize your strengths and your weaknesses. One of my favorite books in marriage counseling is titled “Sacred Marriage.” It’s written by a guy named Gary Thomas. I am utterly convinced God designed marriage to help us grow in holiness. I struggled with feeling as though every disagreement was a sign of a failing marriage. Happiness is a byproduct, a side effect, and the ultimate goal is to be like Christ, i.e. "How does marriage teach me to listen, instead of shout, and be gentle, instead of harsh, when my spouse lets me down? The process of becoming holy, or to put it another way, the process of becoming what you were created to be, will often (although not always) bring about personal happiness. Marriage is about your holiness.” When you apply this statement to a married couple, things take a new light. However, give yourself a chance - buy it and read it. Marriage has shown me that it’s not all about happiness, but how virtuous & holy I become, how God can use me to be the best version of myself—so that I can be a better reflection of Him.
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